Pay Your Tab

It was a warm and fairly breezy night on the surface. Grillby was running his new restaurant alone tonight; his co-worker Muffet had to leave early to attend to her spider family. This didn't bother him, though. He was more than used to attending to a restaurant full of hungry customers, having experience in his old restaurant in the Underground.

Something was slightly off with tonight, however. Grillby gazed across the perimeter of the restaurant: the former canine members of the Royal Guard were hanging out as usual, as well as a group of human teenagers chatting and laughing loudly at a booth. There was still something missing, but the fire elemental just couldn't put his finger on it.

That is until he noticed a full bottle of ketchup on the bar counter a little ways away. It hit him right then; where was Sans? The skeletal monster was not only one of his dearest friends but also his best customer, albeit he never actually does what a true customer should and pay for the food he eats and the countless bottles of ketchup he drinks. Nevertheless, it was concerning Grillby. Where was his number one customer?

Just as the thought dashed through his mind he heard the front door open. Unsurprisingly, it was Sans, and he was wearing quite a wide and happy grin. Grillby watched patiently as the monster walked towards the bar counter, greeting the humans and dogs as he went by. He sat down on a chair and gave the fire elemental a friendly smile.

"Hey, Grillby!" he greeted. "Sorry for being a little late, I was helping Frisk out with their homework. I know you were just itching for me to drop by."

Grillby chuckled lightly. "I suppose you'll want the usual?"

"Actually, I was thinking about trying that new meatloaf platter. Y'know, the one with the side of mashed potatoes and corn?"

"Yes, I'm well aware. I'm the one who put that item on the menu." Grillby hesitated before adding, "I... suppose you'll want this to go on your tab."

"You know me better than I thought," Sans teased with a playful wink. He reached over and grabbed the bottle of ketchup on the counter and proceeded to drink it.

Grillby let out a wispy sigh before heading towards the kitchen. He did cherish and support his old friend very much, but he would be lying to himself if he said he was getting to the end of his patience with the whole tab ordeal. Ever since Sans was just a baby bones he had developed a tab. He could understand that, though, as the skeletal monster was just a child. But a full-grown adult, and one who somehow manages to pay for the house roofing him and his family? Sans obviously makes money, so why aren't any of his priorities focused on paying Grillby back?

"This can't go on forever," Grillby spoke to no one in particular as he began to cook Sans' dish. "Sans is going to have to pay up whether he likes it or not. I've been letting this slide a little too long, and it's about time he owned up to all the food and ketchup he consumed, both here and in the Underground. But how?"

The fire elemental heard a loud bellow of laughter coming from the dining area of the restaurant, which belonged to Sans and a female human. It appeared the skeletal monster was keeping her company by listing to her some of the may skeleton puns he knew, and it was clearly amusing her. Grillby hated to admit it, but no matter how much he claims to dislike the awful puns he secretly enjoyed them; it's one of the features that makes Sans, well, Sans. He divided his attention from his cooking to the conversation in the other room.

"So, my younger brother Papyrus said something about how I get lazier and lazier every day," Sans was saying, his voice cracking with laughter. "And I told him, 'C'mon, bro, I do a ton of work - a skele-ton!"

The female human resumed her laughter at the pun, and Grillby found himself softly chuckling as well. He had heard that joke a million times, but he found it still found a way to amuse him. He quieted down as the human began to talk, "Oh, wow, that was terrible!"

"Yeah, it really tickled my funny bone," Sans replied.

The human giggled profusely again, and once she calmed down she asked, "Hey, I know you're a skeleton without any nerves or muscles or anything."

"Yeah. What about it?"

"Can skeletons be ticklish?"

"Well, keep in mind I'm a monster, and monsters are full of magic," came Sans' reply after a nervous chuckle. "Monster magic can make pretty much anything happen to them, so yeah, skeletons can be ticklish. Take my brother Papyrus for example. He'll go crazy if someone so much as touches his spine, it's so sensitive! I still have no idea why he doesn't cover it up."

"And what about you?" the human pushed on.

Sans chuckled uncomfortably a little, and he was hesitant before replying, "W-Well... Um... I am. J-Just don't tell anyone about it, alright?"

"You have my word."

Grillby had heard enough. He felt a smile creep up across his flame-engulfed face. So, Sans the skeleton was ticklish! He knew exactly how to get that monster to pay his tab now.

----------

A few hours passed since Grillby discovered Sans' ticklishness, but he was careful not to address it. He gave the skeletal monster his food and he ate it with gusto as usual, guzzling down a few more bottles of ketchup to wash down the meatloaf and potatoes. Finally, it was closing time, and everyone but Sans - surprise, surprise - left, bidding their final farewells to Grillby for the night.

The setting was perfect. No one would be around to stop the fire elemental from doing what he needed to do, and Sans obviously wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Grillby decided to put his devious plan into action.

"Sans," he began.

"What's up, Grillbz?" Sans replied through a mouthful of ketchup.

"When do you plan on paying your tab?"

"Uh, I dunno. I guess when I have the money."

"Sans, you clearly have enough money to pay for your house. How do you not have at least a little bit to pay your tab? I'm becoming impatient, Sans."

"Hey, calm down, match stick, I'll pay ya in due time," Sans chuckled, chugging down the last of the ketchup and placing the empty bottle next to the three other empty bottles. "Hey, can I get one more bottle? Then I'll stop, I promise."

"Sans," Grillby sighed. He began to walk around the bar counter until he made his way over to Sans' side. "I'm sorry, but... I'm not giving you anything else until you pay your tab."

"What?" Sans exclaimed, his eye sockets widening. "C'mon, Grillby, don't be like that. Look, I said I'll pay it, you just gotta bear with me a little longer."

"I've waited for over a decade, Sans," Grillby growled. "I find it's only fair that you give to me the money you have in your possession now and pay me the rest later once you make it."

"Sorry, I don't think I can do that. Toriel wouldn't be happy with me. Besides, you've waited this long. Can't you want a little longer?"

Grillby let out a simple sigh and shrugged. "I gave you a chance to redeem yourself, Sans. But if you won't pay up, I suppose I'll have to execute my plan. You know, I've always wondered how many ribs a skeleton has."

"Uhhh..." Sans looked up at the fire elemental, his face twisted with confusion.

"And it seems I'll finally have the opportunity to find out."

Without warning, Grillby grabbed a hold of Sans and pulled him out of his chair and to the ground. The skeletal monster let out a yelp of surprise as Grillby knelt down on the floor and wrapped his arms under Sans', preventing him from protecting his torso.

"G-Grillby, what the heck are you-" Sans began with a startled shout, squirming a bit in his friend's grasp. He was cut off with a squeak when he felt a finger poke at his ribcage through his jacket.

"I hear a certain skeleton is ticklish," Grillby chuckled mischievously as he drummed his fingers along Sans' ribs. The skeletal monster's grin grew wide instantly and he began to snicker and squirm.

"G-Grillby, stohohop!" he giggled. "I-I don't like being tihihihickled!"

"Perhaps I'll stop once you pay your tab," the fire elemental bargained.

"N-No way," Sans blurted out. "It's gonna t-tahahake a lot more than a fehehew t-t-tickles to break this skeheheleton!"

"Very well, then."

Grillby then immediately dug his fingers through Sans' shirt into his ribs, causing him to gasp loudly as his senses were overloaded for a split second. In no time at all, he burst out laughing and thrashing, trying desperately to reach his arms down to protect his vulnerable torso.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ST-STAHAHAHAP THAT! I-I HAVE SEHEHEHEHENSITIVE RIBS!"

"Hmm..." Grillby mused with a devious smirk as he prodded each rib starting at the bottom and working his way up, causing his friend to squeak and giggle. "I wonder how many ribs you have here."

"T-Twenty-four!" the skeletal monster choked out through his laughter. "Twelve in each side-" He let out a high-pitched squeal as the fire elemental wiggled a finger in the gap between two of his ribs, and his feet began to pound at the ground.

"Mmm, I dunno," Grillby chuckled. "You gonna pay your tab?"

"NEHEHEHEHEVEEEEER!"

"Then I'm afraid I'm gonna count each one of them reeeeeally slowly."

Grillby proceeded to poke and scratch each individual rib on Sans' right side, starting at the bottom. He started to count slowly and teasingly. "One... Two... Three..."

"STAHAHAHAHAHAP IT! PLEASE!" Sans cried out, reaching an arm out for something to grab so he could yank himself away from the fire elemental. "I-I SAID I HAVE TWEHEHEHEHENTY-FOUR!"

"Six, seven, twenty-four- wait a second." Grillby stopped tickling, allowing the skeletal monster a brief moment to regain his breath. "What number was I on now? Oh, well, I'll have to start over. One, two, three..." He then began to tickle each rib from the bottom again.

Sans let out a wail of distress before laughter overtook him once again. His struggles were progressively growing weaker and weaker as the torture continued, until soon enough the poor monster fell limp in his friend's arms, completely exhausted from his workout. His laughter, however, was as loud and hard as it could get.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! PLEASE, GRIHIHIHIHILLBY!" he begged, tears streaming down his bright blue cheekbones. "I CAN'T TAHAHAHAHAHAHAKE IT ANYMORE!"

It was at this point that Grillby began feeling a little sorry for the hysterical monster. He tried to stick to his motive of getting Sans to pay off his tab, but the poor creature looked as though he were about to pass out. Sighing, Grillby ceased his assault, yet he kept a firm grip on him.

Sans' chest rose and fell as he greedily swallowed mouthfuls of air despite having no lungs. He was still feeling pretty weak, but he managed to find enough strength to support himself on his feet to keep from slouching in Grillby's grasp.

"O-Okay... You had... your fun..." Sans panted, wiping his tears away with a bony hand. "Now can you... please let me g-... go?"

"Sans, I need you to pay off your tab," Grillby grunted. "I'm really not playing around anymore. I need you to own up to your actions."

"I said I'd do it later, okay?" the skeletal monster replied with a bit of an impatient tone.

"I'm afraid that's not good enough." Without giving Sans a chance to respond, the fire elemental resumed his tickle onslaught on his ribs, throwing the skeletal monster back into hysterics.

"W-WAIT! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! STOP IT, STOP IT, PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEASE!"

"Not until you pay your tab, Sans," Grillby chuckled, wiggling his fingers in the gaps between his ribs and causing Sans to let out a silent squeal.

"STAHAHAHAHAHAHAP! PLEHEHEHEHEASE! I SAID STOP!"

Quick as lightning, Sans' right pupil disappeared into his eye socket as his left one glowed blue, activating his magic. Using what little strength he had, he teleported out of Grillby's grasp and appeared behind him. Not wasting a second, he tackled the fire elemental down to the ground and held him down as he struggled to regain his breath.

"S-Sans!" Grillby yelped, struggling to wriggle out from under the exhausted monster. "Let me up!"

Sans glared down at his friend, his grin stretching wide, and he chuckled mischievously. "I don't think so. Let's see if your ribs are ticklish as well, shall we?"

Without giving Grillby a chance to respond, Sans dug his bony fingers into his ribs - or what would be his ribs if he had bones - and side. Almost immediately the fire elemental burst out laughing as he writhed on the ground.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! SANS, PLEASE STOP!"

"C'mon, where's your real laugh, huh? Where is it?" Sans teased with a smirk, poking everywhere on Grillby's side and rib area as he looked for a sweet spot. "Where is it? Here? How 'bout here?"

"ST-STOP IT! STOP IIIT!" the fire elemental cried out as he squirmed harder. He began to overheat as his usually yellow and light orange flamed body turned red and bright orange. He let out a squeal as Sans poked a spot on his sides just under where his lowest rib would be.

"I gotcha! There it is!" Sans cackled deviously, increasing the tickling speed tenfold as he taunted away. "Getcha-getcha! Whatcha gonna do, huh? Whatcha gonna do? You can't get away! I've got you now!"

"OH, MY GOD, STOP! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Grillby wailed, little red sparks beginning to fly from his red head and hands. "STAHAHAHAHAHAP IT! STOP IT BEFORE I EXPLOHOHOHOHODE!"

"Tickle tickle tickle! I gotcha, I gotcha, I gotcha!" The skeletal monster didn't let up on his tickle onslaught or taunting as he tickled as fast and hard as he could on his friend's sweet spot.

"S-SANS, PLEHEHEHEHEHEASE! I'M GONNA- I'M GONNA-"

It was too late to warn him. Body overheating beyond its heat capacity, Grillby began to glow white for a few seconds before the excess flames generating inside him exploded. The blast created a giant scorched marking on the restaurant floor and blowing away chairs and tables, even tripping the lights a bit, but luckily nothing caught fire. Sans himself was flung due to the impact of the explosion and slammed into the restaurant wall before crashing down on tables and chairs, sending them flying.

Needless to say, he was so grateful to have slept at the Snowdin Inn prior to visiting the restaurant or else he'd be nothing but dust at this point.

Once the explosion's booming noise died down and the smoke cleared, Grillby shakily got to his feet, panting heavily as he struggled to recover from his recent tickle session. He saw Sans laying limply on one of the tables he collided into and immediately he rushed to his side.

"Sans!" he cried out. "Sans! Are you okay?"

The fire elemental nearly fainted with relief when he heard his friend groan. The skeletal monster rolled over onto his side and struggled to sit up. His entire body had been blackened due to the blast and his jacket was scorched; it was almost impossible to recognize it as a blue jacket. He looked up at Grillby, his white pupils large, still unable to gather just exactly what the hell happened. Finally, he shook his head and placed a hand on his skull.

"Oh, God, my skull is ringing," he grunted. "Jeez, Grillbz, I didn't know you were capable of doing such a thing."

"I am so sorry, Sans, I didn't mean it," Grillby fretted, a few sparks flying from his head in a panicked fashion. "I could have destroyed you! I'm so sorry!"

"No, no, it's okay, I should have stopped." Sans looked past Grillby at the large scorched spot on the floor. "Damn, you must be pretty powerful to create a marking that big."

Grillby chuckled uncomfortably in response. He hesitated before speaking in a sincere tone. "I'm sorry for starting this all by tickling you beyond your limits. I just wanted to you pay your tab. I'm having a bit of trouble even affording this place and the food I serve since not a lot of people come here to eat besides you."

"Wait, what? I'm eating you out of house and home? Well, why didn't you tell me? I didn't know I was affecting you that badly!"

"No, no, it's okay. I was in the wrong, I should have been patient. I apologize, Sans."

"Well, of course I accept it, buddy." Sans gave Grillby a soft smile, and the fire elemental smiled back. Sans then let out a yawn and threw his arms up in a stretch. "Boy, nearly being destroyed by a fire man really takes it outta ya. I think I'm gonna head on home now."

"You do that. And I'll stay here and clean up. I've got my work cut out for me." Grillby chuckled as he scanned the mess of a restaurant.

"Alright, take care, Grillbz. Night." And with that, Sans climbed off the table and left the restaurant.

Grillby stood there for a few moments before sighing heavily. This was not at all how he imagined this night to end up. It was his own fault, though, so now he needed to own up to his mistake and take action.

As Grillby began picking up the scattered chairs, the door to the restaurant opened. It closed again before Grillby could turn and see who it was.

What he did see, however, was a stuffed white envelope laying on the ground. He walked up to it and bent down to pick it up, and he found it was much heavier than he thought it would be. It had "Sans" written on it in ketchup, which was still wet. Curious, the fire elemental opened the envelope, and he gasped at what he found inside.

It was Gold. There were so many pieces of Gold in the envelope that Grillby couldn't count them all. He approached the counter and poured the gold out on its slightly singed surface before counting them. There were 1000G.

Grillby felt a warm smile grow wide across his face, and he couldn't help but chuckle. "Oh, Sans. This isn't nearly enough that you owe me. But I suppose it's a good start."